Help, I'm running late!

 I want my life to have meaning. I want it to mean something. I want there to be evidence that I lived, that I did stuff that's actually meaningful. There's a small problem though, I have no idea how to prescribe meaning to this little life of mine. At the ripe age of 26, when I think of what I want my legacy to be I have no idea what that looks like. I do not even have a 5 year plan and I know you guys love those coz its quite nice having a plan right? Yes! Right! Which is why I'm penning this because I sometimes feel like I'm running behind time and I don't even know what I'm late for.

So many times I work myself up about how I'm so late for life. Everyone else actually looks like they have it all figured out. Even when things aren't going well at a particular point in time most people have a general sense of where they are going and that's where they lose me. I generally have no sense of what I'm actually doing in this life most days. Some days I think I may have a plan but as soon as I try to put said plan into action I realize I may have been building castles in the air and it's actually unrealistic.

I think the whole end of year frenzy, goal setting and vision board making is getting to me because today I woke up and I needed to have a plan right now. I wanna have it figured out today right now. I want to sit down and set my goals for 2025 and make my vision board as well and I desperately need it to be about bigger picture stuff and not just now stuff. I wanna have plans that speak to my ultimate goal in life (which I'm not entirely sure of hence this rant disguised as a blog post). 

I however, like the big girl that I am, had to talk myself down and rethink all these thoughts that were invading my mind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me wanting more but more is not going to come as and when I want it. I think I now believe that purpose is progressive. It may not come to you  all at once but in bits and pieces. Your part is to do what needs to be done when the bits and pieces come because those bits are quite crucial for your ultimate goal. If your big thing is dancing you can't just sit and wait for the big stage, dance for the visitors at your house! (We all did this when we were younger and I hate that we stopped) If your big thing is singing, start taking care of your voice, sing whenever you get the chance (even if its at dinnertime at home).

One thing to note though is that sometimes you might not know that your big thing is your big thing (like me) but that's okay. We all have stuff that we are naturally good at and we love doing. Do those things! More often than not those small things that we are good at point to the bigger picture. You may not see it today but you just gotta work on those things. They may be considered passion projects and that's okay. Even if they never become a big thing doing stuff you love is such an incredible experience so you would have lost nothing, just added some joy into your life.

Anyways, the whole point to this is 2024 is coming to an end and we're all looking back at the goals we didn't get to tick off the list and we're all trying to plan for 2025. As we do this let's all be easy on ourselves. Let us not put so much pressure on ourselves about the big things, the little things matter as well. Be ambitious, set realistic goals, be easy on yourself and have fun. You don't have to have it all figured out right now, today. You can and you will figure it out as you go. Remember, the small stuff matters just as much as the big stuff. Take it easy.