I’m just like that, take it or leave it.

 

I was having a conversation with one of my friends about how people just accept some very strange things about themselves and they say “I’m just like that.” It got me thinking about some things that I had accepted about myself. There are some things that are not good things that I had just accepted and I was making no effort to change my behavior because, “I’m just like that.” My friend was saying that he doesn’t understand why people just accept some things about themselves as if they can’t change them and I agreed in the moment but I don’t think I paid it much mind until this morning.

I was talking to someone in the morning and I couldn’t hear what they had said and instead of saying “huh” I said “pardon.” The thing is, for many years even though I knew that the proper polite response to not hearing what someone said is “pardon” I always just said “huh” with the question marks written in my facial expression. What changed is that at home we’re trying to teach our toddlers to be polite and to stop saying “huh” but to start saying “pardon”. For a while I continued to say huh but I realized that the children kept mimicking that and I made the decision to start saying pardon.

I will be the first to say it wasn’t easy to stop saying “huh.” I was so accustomed to the wrong way of doing this that it came so naturally to me. The big question is, does the fact that it came naturally make it right? IT DOES NOT! It’s still rude to say huh no matter how accustomed we are to say it. We’ve just normalized it because well, everybody does it and that’s just who we are.

We are masters of our lives. We are in charge of our lives and our behaviors and our attitudes and it’s actually quite silly that we accept some terrible things about ourselves as if we can’t change them if we just make the decision to change. I know you’re thinking, “Gurl it’s easier said than done.” You are correct in thinking that because it is actually easier said than done. We’ve been doing some of these things our whole lives and they have become such a huge part of us that we think we can’t change them or we think they are us and without those things we aren’t who we are. Obviously the “huh” thing wasn’t who I am I certainly didn’t identify with it but it was still so hard to shake off.

We do not live in isolation. We are not islands and because of this we cannot fester bad habits and tell ourselves that’s just who we are and people (that we love and care deeply for) just have to accept our nonsense and live with it. Why must they endure nonsense when we can change? When we refuse to change tiny things about ourselves that are an inconvenience to others are we walking in love? I’d love not laying down our lives for others? Can we surely not stop saying huh and start saying “pardon” instead? (This is obviously just an example but I think it would be nice and polite for all of us to say pardon instead of huh)

All I’m saying to myself (because like I always say, this is my blog and sometimes you’re just gonna sit through a post that has nothing to do with you but everything to do with me) and to you is take stock of your life. Introspect and pray Psalm 139:23-24. Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal those small things that you want to hold onto so strongly. Those small things that have become part and parcel of your identity but shouldn’t identify you in any way. Pray it earnestly and when God speaks, listen. Make the change you need to change. Start saying “pardon” instead of “huh!” You’re not just like that, you have the ability to change if you just make the decision.