Who are you?

 

Pause. Stop for a moment and think. Who even are you? If someone were to ask you, "Who is.....(insert your name)?, what would you say? A month ago, if you asked me this question, I would have laughed long and hard before telling you, "That is a tough question to answer." And this was not because I had never met myself, no! I have known myself for 27 years, 4 months, and 5 days as I write this. That is a very long time to have known someone and then fail to answer the question of who they are. So, what was the problem, then, you ask? I was perishing, because of..... yes, you guessed it right, lack of knowledge. 

I have lived an interesting life (if I do say so myself), and in these 27 years of my existence, I  have searched for meaning, for the why. I have always needed a reason to exist. I have always known that I am not a placeholder, but I am useful, meaningful, necessary for something, anything, just something. Whatever I could get my hands on that gave me some sort of meaning, I grabbed onto for dear life. If I just felt indispensable, I was there, 100%, never letting go, because that then became my meaning. I have always felt the need to be needed. I gotta be useful because I'm not a placeholder, right? Right? Totally right! But I took it a notch higher because any opportunity I got to be needed felt like my reason for existence.

Now, my dear reader, can you see where the problem is? If you can't, you gotta continue reading so you see it (even if you can see it, continue because you have come this far). The problem is, I, a 27-year-old born-again Christian, bible believing, tongue-speaking, Bible school student, was getting my identity from things. I was getting my reason for living from things, relationships, people!! All of which can go in the blink of an eye. (A moment of silence for my silliness) I sought meaning in everything else but the one who created me. How did this even make sense to me? 

When a creator creates anything, they do so with a purpose in mind. They create for a reason, and they name whatever that is for its purpose. This is obviously in the context of "things". But what makes us think our Creator had no purpose for us? So much so that we go to everything and everyone else to get our why and to feel like we are doing what we ought to be doing? Why do we think the Creator who made everything won't tell us why? What makes us think he will let us go through life without a proper plan on what we ought to be doing?

In diagnosing myself, I realised I didn't think just identifying with being a child of God, bought by the precious blood of God, was enough. I needed to be doing something for me to mean something. I needed to have a successful relationship, career, friendship, etc., for me to mean something. I was indirectly laughing in the face of salvation and acting like it wasn't enough for me to mean something. When it is. 

I mean everything to the one who sent his only son to die for me. I am valuable outside of anything I may do in my own strength because my value comes from my redemption that came from the precious blood of Jesus. The bible in 1 Peter 1:18-19 says, "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect." Noone is paying a high price for something useless, I was bought at an expensive price because I am worth it. My importance cannot come from any "thing". No random thing is allowed to define me or what I am worth, nothing but the blood of Jesus, which has declared me precious and valuable.

I always tell you this is my blog, so I talk about me, but I want to tell you that YOU ARE PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT. That relationship, friendship, job, money, pet, hobby, or whatever it is you hold onto for dear life is not where you get your importance from. You are important because you are a child of God. And that, my dear reader, is enough. Even in seasons where you feel like you need to do to be but you can't seem to get the opportunity to do, remember that Christ died for you before you even existed. He considered you valuable before you could even do anything (BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T EXIST YET SILLY). You are valuable!! So precious to him, don't let anything else claim it can define you.

NB: Next time you see me, ask me who I am :) I now know.