Got room for anxiety?

 

Unrest. growing unease. Pressure pressure. Expectations left, right, and center. What’s the plan? What’s next? The years are passing by, and there's so much pressure. So many expectations. God! God! God, where are you? God, what are you saying? Will it happen for me? Did I miss something? Did you really say? If you have never asked these questions, kindly excuse me and 99 others, because we have asked them. Not only have we asked them, but we also repeatedly ask these questions. We have our timelines. We have our plans, and obviously, if things aren't going according to plan, something is wrong, right? Right? Right??? Wrong! Or right??

The thing with pressure is that it never stops mounting. I think we can all attest to the fact that if it's not one thing, it's another these days. So much is happening all at the same time, and we have absolutely no control over anything. I personally love to be in control of the narrative of my life. It would really, really be nice to know exactly what's up, hey? To know that in a year, I will be working at this place and married to this man and expecting a set of twins (yes, twins, deal with it). Because of this love to be in control in the past year, I have been crippled by anxiety and depression so much. I would think of all the whys and whats and wheres and hows, and not getting an immediate answer from God would obviously mean that I'm doomed, right?? Right?? Wrong! But I worked myself up into worry and anxiety because I was convinced that I was doomed. 

The issue now with my self-imposed doom was that no matter how much I attempted to pray about it I still held onto the doom. I did not let go of it. You know how the Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I wouldn’t do that. Up until now, I have struggled to do that. My go-to is to tell God about it, and instead of casting and leaving it with him, I gently put it at his feet (so that I don’t break it, obviously), and as soon as I finish explaining everything to him, I ever so gently pick up my anxieties again.

The funny thing in all this is that one of my favorite verses is, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus,” (Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬). The verse very clearly says don’t be anxious but pray, and you’ll have peace that you can’t explain, but you know what my choice was over and over again?? I chose to hold onto anxiety for dear life. I allowed said anxiety to define me. I refused vehemently to embrace the peace of God, and it cost me my sanity for months on end.

I thank God that I attended a women’s conference at my church, where there was an emphasis on identity because the moment I understood my identity in Chris,t I could not identify myself with anxiety. If you’re a believer and you are reading this, I want you to ask yourself this question: “Can the Holy Spirit stay in the same house with anxiety?” Because you know the Bible says, “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?”‭‭ (I Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬). Those anxieties you’re holding onto??? You’re making a comfortable room for them in the house that the Holy Spirit dwells in. You are offering them refreshments so that they can stay for even longer because you are so hospitable. They won’t leave because you keep making up excuses to make them stay longer. And you are doing all this in the same house that the Holy Spirit dwells in.

Hear me and hear me well, anxieties are there and will be there forever, but Philippians 4:6-7 is showing us that there is a way out of those. Instead of holding on to the anxieties, we would rather make our requests known to God by prayer and supplications, and when we do, a beautiful thing happens: his peace that cannot be understood will guard our hearts. Give it to God, leave it with him, and allow his peace (even when you don’t understand why you’re at peace) to guard your heart. Don’t create a comfortable room for anxiety in the house that the Holy Spirit dwells in.